TIPS FOR GUESTS

The invitation comes first. Invitations may be written (formal or informal), telephoned, verbal (personal), emailed. Regardless of the type of invitation, it must include WHAT, WHERE, and WHEN.

When a reply is requested, you should answer immediately. When the invitation is written, the reply is written in the SAME FORM AS THE INVITATION. Some invitations are not worded properly. In that case, write your reply correctly (as the invitation should have been). R.S.V.P. demands an immediate reply. If a reply is not requested, it is courteous and reassuring to the hostess to reply.

If you decline an invitation when you reply originally, you need give an explanation, only your regrets. HOWEVER, if you accept, the find you cannot attend, it is imperative to call the hostess immediately and give a reason.

NEVER ask to be invited to a party or put the hostess "on the spot" so that she feels obligated to invite you. NEVER bring an extra guest without consulting the hostess (Be considerate about asking). Do not be offended if the hostess has to refuse.

IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, make certain they are included BEFORE taking them with you. When giving an invitation, the hostess should specifically mention the children if they are to be included.

AVOID being a "drop in". A telephone call will make you a much more welcome guest.

The phrase, "Make yourself at home," is a figure of speech. When you are a guest DO NOT go to the refrigerator, cupboards, etc., and serve yourself refreshments! GIVE THE HOSTESS THAT PRIVILEDGE!

When refreshments are served, DO NOT PLACE CUPS OR GLASSES ON THE FURNITURE unless the hostess has provided coasters or saucers. If saucers or coasters are not provided, hold the glass or cup in your hand. Rings on furniture are very hard to remove-also it shows your lack of respect and consideration for her hospitality.

ALWAYS ask permission to smoke-to some people, smoking is offensive and may cause physical discomfort. If there are no ash trays in sight, it is likely the hostess prefers no smoking, and it is her privilege to establish the policies in her own home. If the hostess does not make mention that smoking is acceptable outside, assume smoking is not accepted even outdoors or in their presence. In such instances, it is considerate not to ask. This avoids embarrassment.

DINNER GUESTS: Be on time. (Arrive no earlier than 5 or 10 minutes before the stated time.) If there is an unavoidable reason for being late, phone your hostess. When you do arrive, make no apologies to the guests, and be as inconspicuous as possible. Go quietly to the hostess and make a brief, sincere apology to her. Take your place at the table. DO NOT OVERSTAY! If you are alert to the occasion, you will know when it is time to leave. Say goodbye to your hostess and host, expressing your thanks, THEN LEAVE.

HOUSE GUESTS: Answer the invitation promptly. If you are not certain about the kind of clothing you will need, it is proper to ask, "What shall I pack?" Make clear your arrival time and how you will travel-also your departure plans. Do not overstay your welcome.

Note the habits of the household. Get up in the morning at the time that will not interfere with the normal routine of the family getting off to work and school. Keep your room tidy. Allow the host family some privacy; give yourself some free time alone. "Companionable silence" can be restful. Offer your help where you can-do not force it.

Be agreeable to the planned entertainment. If you are given a choice or asked an opinion, give it in a gracious way. Adapt yourself to the household standards. NEVER argue with another person whether it is a guest or your spouse. Don't even think of disagreeing with the host or hostess.

DO NOT bring pets unless you know they are "welcome," and there is a place to house them. DO NOT monopolize the telephone. Use your cell phone in the privacy of your sleeping quarters or outside. If you have no cell phone, leave more than enough money for your calls only AFTER you have asked permission to even use the house phone.

DO NOT invite your friends to your host's house unless your host or hostess suggests it. When you pack to leave, be sure you have all your belongings.

GIFTS are not always necessary, but it is gracious to bring a gift. It doesn't need to be expensive, and it is usually presented shortly after your arrival.

"BREAD AND BUTTER LETTER"? YES. Write it within two or three days after your visit; make mention of special things you enjoyed. It need not be long. The letter is addressed to the hostess (not to the host and hostess) and is written by the wife of the visiting couple. A gift card may be signed by husband and wife, but the gift is given to the hostess.

When at an event that has a receiving line, the purpose is to make it easy for each guest at a large gathering to be greeted by the host and hostess and introduced to the guest of honor. IT IS NOT A TIME TO VISIT and it is very rude of guests who slow up the line to "chit-chat".

Help make a party successful by entering into the activities without taking over. Leave at the proper hour. Say or send thanks or acknowledgements appropriate to the occasion. Make good any damage to the possessions of the host or another guest. Return hospitality in some way, though not necessary in the same manner.

Be the kind of guest who will be invited more than the first time.

DO NOT break an engagement except in a real emergency. Do not monopolize the guest of honor, other guests, or the host and hostess. Do not act like a host or hostess - handling refreshments, adjusting temperature, etc., unless specifically asked by the host or hostess. Do not open closets, desk, or bureau drawers, cabinets, etc. Do not discuss illness or diets at the table, or controversial subjects. DO NOT feed pets at the table. Do no remove jackets (men) without being invited to do so.

Absolutely do not chew gum while visiting someone else's home unless it is done in private. Be aware how much alcohol you are consuming if drinks are being served. Two drinks should be your limit at any one event. If it is a party that lasts more than 4 hours, an additional drink is acceptable for every two additional hours the party lasts.

NEVER be the last person to leave. Once you see someone is leaving, make it a point to think about going yourself. If it is down to just yourself and another couple; and that other couple is getting ready to leave, you should be getting ready to leave as well.

If it is late outside, remember to keep your voices down in courtesy for the neighbors.

NO ONE is so important that he/she can disregard good manners!

PERSONAL APPEARANCE
CONVERSATION
TELEPHONE ETIQUETTE
ENTERTAINING
TIPS FOR GUESTS
TABLE MANNERS
EATING OUT AT RESTAURANTS
TIPPING
SPECIAL MANNERS WITH SPECIFIC FOODS
TOASTS
GETTING A JOB
BEING A BOSS OR MANAGER
ETIQUETTE AT WORK
ETIQUETTE AT HOME
DRIVING AN AUTOMOBILE

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